my veins are dancing
slithering away
as they try to put me under
every part of me wants to run, i say

i wake up shaking
the nurse informs
i was double drugged
that even unconscious i would not settle
in a haze i remember my skittish veins

i am face down
in a face shaped pillow
i tell her disembodied voice
that fight or flight is deeply ingrained
we learn so young we are not safe

do you know what i mean?
i know exactly what you mean
she says
and strangely
i feel safe

© 2020 courtney lavender

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